Forever in Your Heart PruCan
by Canadian-FrenchToast
Summary: Matthew Williams, or Canada, wakes up the morning after the night Gilbert Beilshchmidt had proposed to him alone. There is a note that assures him he only had to leave earlier than usual and nothing was wrong, though as Matt finds out otherwise, things get serious. /Fatal/ serious. WARNING: The following FanFic is filled with so many feels you will drown in them. c: Happy reading


Forever in your Heart

A petit, blonde Canadian lay asleep, curled up in the warmth of bulky blankets and sheets, a peaceful expression depict over his face as dreams fluttered his mind. He had fallen asleep with a smile unlike any other, for he was the most content he had ever been in his entire existence, accompanied by Prussian arms wrapped around his chest and held close by the one he most dearly loved.

As his mind flooded over with such passionate dreams of the red-eyed male, a repetitive screeching noise abruptly broke his slumber, causing Matthew to jolt upright in the bed, his bright violet eyes wide in surprise.

Once his mind had come to, the blonde raised a fist to rub the sleep out of his eye, reaching over the bed to press the snooze button on the alarm. The room fell silent again just as the alarm had been muted and Matthew stretched his arms over head with a yawn.

Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, bright morning sun light beamed through a sliver between two curtains, shining into the male's eyes. He squinted and groaned from the light, shielding it away under the covers as he dove back in bed, face compressed into the pillow.

Matthew's hands searched the empty sheets for a body next to him, all that was left of the other warmth from where he had slept through the previous night. The Canadian frowned and lifted his head to get a visual check and saw that his love was gone.

"Gilbert..?" Matthew said in a soft voice, his accent profound due to sleep. He knit his eyebrows in curiosity. Gilbert never left this early in the morning for work... Maybe he got called in.

That was when he noticed the yellow sticky note placed on top of the other's pillow. Matthew blinked, and then picked up the note carefully, reading over the scribbled handwriting that looked as if it was done in a hurry.

_Birdie, _

_I had to leave early. I'm sorry I didn't get to say bye, but I didn't want to disrupt your sleep. I'll be back late afternoon. Try not to miss my awesomeness too much. Keseses!~ XOXO 3_

_The Awesome,_

_Gilbert_

Matthew sighed and smiled at the note, then placed it down on the night stand beside the bed. Just as he did so, he paused, staring at the ring he'd placed in the spot next to it the night before. His lips curled into an even brighter smile, his eyes seeming to glisten as he picked the ring back up and rotated it in between his fingers.

Yesterday night... The best night of Matthew's life. That night their life took another massive step towards always being together. The night where Gilbert lead him out to the bridge after a lengthy day of hanging around town together full of laughter and enjoyment, bent down on one knee with this very ring and asked four simple words that Matthew could have never imagined would ever mean so much to him; "Will you marry me?"

His heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of the memory and his eyes drifted closed, sinking down his pillow and smiled brightly as he held the ring secure to his chest. They had been through so much together, held so many precious memories and Matthew knew that this only meant they were to have so many more. He could see it now... So joyful, passionate... Gilbert was the only one his heart would ever belong to. He was his everything.

As he slipped the ring back in its rightful place on his left ring finger, he opened his eyes again and forced himself to climb out of bed. Running his fingers through his hair, he strolled around the bed and pushed the bedroom door open into the living room where he continued past into the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast.

On the kitchen table, Kumajirou and Gilbird were snuggled up alongside one another, completely passed out. Matthew let out a faint giggle at the sight, then quietly passed them and began to brew some maple-flavored coffee.

The Canadian leaned back against the counter with the mug of coffee and yawned silently, though he was stopped short in the middle of it as the red blinking light of the answering machine caught his eye.

He raised an eyebrow, then paced over towards it. He hadn't heard the phone ring during the night, and usually anyone of their friends would have contacted their cell phones if it was an emergency.

Matthew leisurely pressed the button to the blinking machine and the machine's voice spoke, "You have 1 new message," followed by a beep, then the message.

He couldn't inform you word for word on what the message said because it came as such an alarm to him his mind went completely blank almost halfway through the memo. It was a woman's voice, a nurse from the hospital not distant from there. She explained that 'Mr. Beilschmidt' had been transported in an ambulance and arrived to the hospital 6:04 in the morning. He was checked in by one of his workers that had dialed 911 and the worker left Gilbert's home phone number, knowing that Matthew would get it. The doctors claimed that Gilbert was experiencing some kind of heart failure and that it was far more serious than they had assumed.

"End of final message. There are no new messages." The machine spoke after the voicemail was through.

The coffee mug slipped through Matthew's hands and shattered on the tile flooring with a booming noise that caused Kumajirou and Gilbird to scramble and flee under the couch. Matthew stared blankly at the machine, wide eyed and his world seemed to stop. He could sense his heart beat in his ear. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe.

Involuntarily, Matthew dashed around the corner and bolted for the door, swiping his keys off the counter as he passed. Gilbert was in the hospital... He just couldn't believe it. Tears stung his eyes, threatening to leak through as he continued running towards the door.

His mind was cluttered with panic and he unlocked and threw open the front door, racing towards the car.

The ride there was so painful. Matthew drove as rapid as possible down the road, tears streaming down his cheeks. It was difficult to think or even see visibly. There was only one thing on his mind; Gilbert.

"B-beilschmidt.." Matthew choked through tears, looking with hopeful violet eyes at the nurse behind the hospital's front desk. He was shaking with concern and he wasn't going to take no for answer for seeing him.

The nurse nodded down at her clip board, "You must be Mr. Williams. Yes, he is in room 342. Down the hall, fifth door on the left."

She didn't even seem the slightest bit surprised of how torn up the Canadian was. He guessed she must have seen a lot of tears before and really wasn't concerned or sorry for anyone's situation here, even if her voice sounded compassionate.

Matthew managed a unsteady smile, nodding through eyes glistened with tears, "Thank you.." The nurse gave him a diminutive smile before the blonde turned and began to almost sprint down the hall again, counting the doors as he passed them. 2...3...4..._._

He seized his breath at the 5th door, noticing the number 342 on a sign beside it. Matthew's hand slipped over the handle and he carefully turned it and pushed it ajar.

Through the crack, it looked just as any old hospital room. The TV was on with the sound down low, other than that it was deathly quiet. There were two beds pressed up against a wall aligned with multiple machines. One of the beds was empty. In the other, a silver haired Prussian rested unconscious. Matthew's heart stopped at the awful sight.

Gilbert's face was completely drained of color and he was ever more pale than normal. He had cords stuck all over his body and bandages decorating his chest. It was as if he had been lying there forever, never once left that bed for an eternity.

Matthew deliberately opened the door all the way, a lone tear streaming from his right puffy, glossy eye, descending down his cheek. He didn't know what to do, what to say. It was the scariest sight he had ever witnessed. Seeing his fiancé like that... He knew this wasn't anything minor.

Though he didn't need to say anything. As the door was pushed open all the way, a rather loud squeak came from is hinges and Matthew winced at the sound. Gilbert's eyes, now a pale maroon alternative of his typical bright starling red, lifted open painfully slow. They scanned the room, and then over towards the door in the direction the noise had come from.

Matthew's lips quivered. ".. G-gil.." The Prussian's lips gradually shifted into a half-hearted grin, eyes locked on the blonde's. "...Hallo." He croaked.

Violet eyes flooded over with tears and he sniffled, not able to form any more words. Gilbert's grin faded and the sight of his love so torn up. He sighed, weakly waving him over, "Come here, Birdie."

Matthew's feet moved under him almost automatically at the command, darting to his bed side and wrapped his arms around the other, sobbing into him. Even though the impact was some-what painful, Gilbert ignored it and held the Canadian close. The Prussian had none of what was left of his strength, drained to such a feeble condition.

After his weeps had faded to sniffles, Matthew lifted his head up and looked into Gilbert's ashen eyes, his own shimmering, damp and puffy with tears. ".. The doctors say it's serious..." He paused, taking a deep inhalation. "They... They don't know if you'll..." His lips just couldn't form the words 'make it'. Matthew tried as hard as possible to stay strong, but the tears just wouldn't stop.

Gilbert took Matthew's hand in his, carefully entwining their fingers. "Ja, I know... Listen, I've... Been having heart problems for some time now." The blonde's eyes went slightly ample at the fact, though Gilbert continued, "I couldn't tell you.. I really didn't zhink it vas all zhat serious." He let out a brief sigh, just as Matthew's trembling words took over, "...Y-you knew? Why didn't you tell me?!"

The Prussian gave the other's hand a light squeeze to calm him, striking a frail grin, "Because, I knew you vould freak out on me." Matthew opened his mouth to protest, but then fell silent and sighed precariously. He knew he was right. Instead, he leaned his head down and rested his forehead on their hands, taking in deep breaths to calm down.

"… I'm so scared, Gil… P-please tell me you'll be ok..." Matthew murmured, his voice quivering. Gilbert looked down at the Canadian, and then with his free hand, ran his fingers through the delicate, feathery blonde hair.

"I don't know if I can promise zhat, Birdie…" He paused, leaning his head back into the pillow. God, how could he tell him? He knew for sure that there was a very slim chance of him making it, and even if he looked tranquil and lay back, he was panicking inside. Here was his fiancé in his arms, sobbing and concerned out of his humble mind. He just didn't have the heart to tell him, and not just because it had been failing him. There was only days left, maybe even less. He would stay strong. Matthew had to understand some things though, things that he had been pondering about for a while and now they stuck out in his mind ever since he was put in this hospital.

"Listen," Carefully, he lifted Matthew's chin up. Teary violet eyes met painful pale red ones as the Prussian spoke in the most serious voice he could cope. "My country has already vanished. With zhat, it is only a matter of time zhe personification leaves as vell. I know it doesn't seem fair, but it's true. Mattie… My time is up." He croaked agonizingly.

Matthew's eyes just wouldn't stop producing tears. Before he was allowed to say anything, Gilbert cut in again, "I don't fear death… Alzhough I don't vant to die yet. I don't vant to die knowing zhat my life vas meaningless," Even he was now on the verge of tears, but he held it back with a sniffle, "I don't feel as zhough I'm going to leave zhe vorld a better place. No one remembers my country or vhat I did... When I'm gone, it von't matter. I vish I could have served zhis vorld better, but it's too late for zhat. So please… Zhere vill be no need to grieve over my passing. I vant you to move on." His finger tip traced over the subtle engagement ring that decorated Matthew's left ring finger.

Matthew stared at him, eyes displaying a look something close to dismay. How could Gilbert be so settle about this? He was going to DIE, leaving Matthew with only a memory of what was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. This all following the day Gilbert had proposed to him, the superlative day of his life. Matthew told him every day how much he loved him and cared for him, how content his heart was with his, and here he was claiming his life was pointless?

"..T-that's a lie and you know it," He wiped his tears away quickly with the back of his wrist. "You're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. And you HAVE changed the world for the better. Your brother, Ludwig. You set the foundation of the German princely states, which enabled Germany to emerge as a major world power from the start of the twentieth century. Germany would never be where it was today without your help. You sure as maple set a name for yourself. How could anyone forget the foremost military power of Europe during the 17th century, eh? You're just too awesome to be forgotten, and I know for certain that I couldn't ever forget you. Losing you… The pain would be too immense to even imagine. I don't know if I could ever go on without you…" His voice trembled off into still silence.

Gilbert blinked in utter surprise. So the kid had done his homework… Even so, those words were by far the most inspirational thing he had ever heard. He hadn't realized how much he truly meant to Matthew, and now he was so desperate to keep on living, just to forever hold this little blonde in his arms and show him the love and compassion he deserved. Matthew was… Breathtaking. You would never meet someone as wise, smart, considerate, encouraging, and just plain astonishing as he was. And now Gilbert stared into those stimulating silky, lavender eyes with a strong, longing look, tears lining his own eyes as one of them slipped down his face. "… Birdie…"

Despite the fact he was in no condition to even move, he pulled Matthew up as closely as possible to his chest, embracing him and burrowing his face into the Canadian's hair. He sniffled, "D-danke… Ich leibe dich… so much."

Matthew sank into the embrace, carefully wrapping his arms around the other and pressed into his neck. ".. J-je t'amie trop."

They held the hug for what seemed like forever, listening to the cardiac monitor beep repetitively on the opposite side of the bed, sniffling and sobbing in each other's arms. Neither ever wanted to let go, and what was happening seemed so… unreal. As if this couldn't happen, it just wasn't rational. There were so many emotions and so much passion shared in that one moment, nothing in the world would ever compare to it. Matthew was so petrified of what his world would come to without Gilbert, it wasn't even conceivable.

Unexpectedly, Gilbert started coughing. Matthew pulled back hesitantly, a little wide eyed as the Prussian's pulse on the monitor started to spike. "… G-gil?"

Gilbert fell back into his pillow and started struggling to breathe, not able to form any sort of reply. Matthew's heart started to race and he began to panic. Just as he turned to run for help, a few nurses rushed in to his bedside, holding him down and tending to him.

Before Matthew could do anything, a doctor and another nurse came in, their voices talking so fast he couldn't make out anything they were saying to each other. The last nurse to come in automatically took Matthew by the arm, hauling him out into the hallway. The Canadian tried to pull away to stay in the room, but the nurse's grip was too strong and no matter how much he yelled for her to let go and how many tears he produced, she didn't.

Once the nurse had finally gotten him into the hall, she sealed the door closed. "I'm sorry, but you can't see him right now." She spoke in a tranquil and sympathetic voice that could have easily fooled anybody, but Matthew could see right through it. He gave her a look of discontent, but sighed shakily, cheeks drenched with rivers of unease. He slid his back down the opposite wall to the room. The glass walls displayed everything that went on in the room, although you couldn't see past the medics and nurses crowding around his bed. Nothing could amount to how petrified and nervous he was. His body wouldn't stop quivering, his heart pounding in his ears and made it hard to hear anything.

In fact, he barley heard the nurse that had dragged him out of the room say, "Sir, you're bleeding. Come with me, I'll help you get cleaned up." Matthew blinked out of the trance, glancing up towards the hand the nurse held down to him.

"I-I'm… what?" Looking over himself, he noticed the ankle of his jeans lined with scarlet liquid. His eyes widened a little and he pulled the fabric up, revealing a deep cut and several other thinner ones surrounding it. What could that have come from...?

Oh, the dropped coffee mug. The shattered glass must have cut up his ankle. He was so terrified and focused on rushing to the hospital; he hadn't even acknowledged the pain.

Even so, he lifted his head back up to meet the nurses eyes and shook his head. "..No, I'm fine, madam… Thank you for your concern though, I'd really just like to… Sit here for a while, if that's not a problem." He murmured, his voice filled with concern for the Prussian in the other room.

The nurse didn't hesitate to nod, then turned and walked down the hallway, the clicks of her heels fading off into the silent hall, leaving Matthew alone to observe the love of his life on the verge of death.

The near hours that passed were a thousand times more nerve-racking and painful than anything you could ever imagine. Matthew's eyes never left that room, staring horrified through the clear glass walls. He chewed every bit of his fingernails off, grinded his teeth together, did everything in desperate hopes to calm his anxiety but it just wasn't possible.

Eventually, the same nurse that had offered to tend to his wounds came back through the hall. She informed Matthew that visiting hours were over and asked him to leave, but he bluntly refused and pleaded for her to let him stay the night. Fortunately she didn't seem to put up much of an argument and allowed Matthew to rest in the room next to Gilbert's, since he wasn't capable to sleep in the same room. It was far too hectic in there and she claimed he wouldn't gain any rest, and also be a distraction. He didn't see that as a logical reason for him not able to be with his fiancé at a time like this, but he reluctantly agreed and allowed himself to be escorted to the room next to Gilberts and laid down on the bed.

It was challenging to get his eyes to even close and even more so to drift into sleep, but his distraught state of mind and the exhaustion do to such hard sobbing for so long eventually overcame his anxiety and he fell into a deep sleep.

Sunlight beamed through the windowsill when a heavy set of curtains were drawn back, greeting a red-eyed albino up from deep slumber as he groaned and rolled onto his chest, concealing his eyes from the bright light.

"Good morning, Mr. Beilschmidt." A kiss-ass voice that seemed vaguely familiar beamed cheerfully from the direction of the window. "Did you rest well? I assume you are feeling better."

Gilbert sighed shortly in irritation. It was that annoying nurse that he had the displeasure of having to be checked up on constantly, though her comment struck him as odd. Why would he be feeling better? ... Well, to his surprise, he was. To be completely honest, he felt healthy and alive, back to his old self even before his heart problems started.

The Prussian rolled onto his back again and sat up, noting that all of the cords were removed from his chest, all that was left behind were some new bandages littering his chest along with the old ones. The only machine he was still hooked up to was the cardiac monitor, which beeped at a standard pace at the top corner of his bed where it had been before. He raised an eyebrow, scratching at the back of his neck. Weird…

"… Ja. I'm feeling a lot better, actually…" He murmured, then blinked in confusion, realizing something was missing, "Hey, uh… Vhere's Matthew?"

The nurse turned to face him, a tacky, wide smile on her face that she tried way too hard to pass it off as cheerful, "Oh, your fiancé… He's the reason why you're feeling good as new, may I point out."

Gilbert knit his eyebrows. Matthew did this…? "How so?... Und I asked you a question. Vhere is he? " He asked with a lethal solemn voice.

The nurse pursed her lips into a tight thin line, heels clacking as she delicately walked over to the other's bedside. She gently sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, looking into Gilbert's eyes with the first real sensation he'd seen her have in his whole time in the hospital; concern, yet sympathy.

She let out a sigh that told him whatever she was going to say was going to be difficult to word. "Mr. Williams truly has one pure and gentle soul… He is the most generous, compassionate person I have ever met. You must be so very fond of him, just as he's for you. In fact, that boy would give you the world if he could, and his heart. Do you want to know how I know this is true?"

The Prussian blinked slowly. He felt as if he was a 9-year-old being lectured the way this lady spoke to him, though she had gotten his attention. It took him a moment to realize the obvious thing the nurse was trying to break to him. His eyes widened to the size of golf balls with the most devastated expression you could ever imagine depicted on his face, as the nurse calmly spoke the words;

"Because he did."

Gilbert's world stopped. His face drained of all color, ten shades paler than his normal pale. All sounds were compelled into a sharp ringing in both ears, and he forgot how to speak, breathe, or think, his vision blurring through eyes that leaked agonizing, stunned tears.

Matthew gave his heart… to him. _Him_.

The nurse seemed to notice Gilbert's state of shock, and even if he couldn't hear a word of what she was saying, she continued, "Last night you were in dire need for a heart transplant. It was fatal, and your heart had failed completely. Matthew stayed the night over in the room next door to yours because he simply refused to leave, and when you were transported to the operating room, a nurse woke him up to inform him the news. He was devastated, broke down in tears crying. Even when we told him we would contact one of your relatives to see if they would consider giving you their heart, Matthew insisted with all his might that we take his. We were unsure though, usually we only do this sort of thing between relatives, but the anxious soul wouldn't take no for an answer… So we went ahead with the operation. As you can guess, it was a success. Though your fiancé… He's… No longer with us. I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Beilschmidt."

Gilbert's frozen expression immediately melted away, his expression shifting to raging anger, a fire burning in his eyes that would never amount to any other fury. He swiped a tray of medical tools and utensils off the table next to him as they shattered onto the floor, sitting upright in his bed, shaking with rage as tears streamed down his face like a river. "VHAT?! HOW ON FICKING EARTH COULD YOU LET HIM DO ZHAT VITHOUT MY PERMISSION!?" He bellowed, bawling a tightly closed fist at his side. Before he could even let the nurse reply, he immediately cut her words off and bolted up from the bed standing over her with an intense scowl, "YOU LET HIM GIVE HIS _LIFE_ TO SAVE ME! I NEVER GOT ANY SAY ON ZHIS, VHAT THE HELL?! NOW HE'S DEAD… B-because of ME!" His voice trembled, breathing heavily.

His knees gave out under him and he collapsed to the floor. He slammed his fist down, then buried his face into the palms of his hands and sobbed loudly.

"… G-god ficking damn it, Birdie!…" He sniffled, clawing at his eyes. "H-how could you do zhis…?!" His love.. His world, his everything. Was gone. The only person he ever cared for, would ever show compassion for. The one he'd loved for most of this whole entire world, the only person he wanted to hold, squeeze, kiss, touch… Gone. Because of _him_. He could feel his life slowly slipping away on the very floor.

The nurse stared down at him, eyes only slightly varied. Wordlessly, she slipped a piece of paper along with a golden ring out from her uniform pocket and pressed the two onto the bed. The nurse said nothing, smoothly standing from the bed, walked around the scattered tools and left Gilbert alone as the door clicked shut behind her.

The Prussian sat there alone with his many, many pain-filled, unbearable thoughts, sobbing as hard as he had ever in his entire time. It seemed like forever that he remained on the floor like that, decades, centuries to him, but it was only a few hours until Gilbert finally gathered himself up enough to return to his previous location on the bed.

He dragged himself up onto the edge of the bed and took shaky breaths in and out. This didn't seem real, this didn't seem possible. This was all some cruel, evil joke that everyone would laugh about. But it wasn't. It was real, and no matter how desperately hard Gilbert attempted to believe it wasn't, he knew he was just lying to himself. Matthew was gone. And he'd given his life up to him.

Gilbert's glossy, blood shot eyes were revealed behind his hands, drenched with tears and he slowly slipped them off his face. Almost instantaneously, the silver-haired man's attention was directed to the two objects the nurse had left behind and with a trembling hand, reached out to pick the note up, rolling the ring around deliberately in his other hand. It was difficult to make out the well-written note in delicate hand writing through Gilbert's blurred eyes, but after sometime, his hand clenched around the ring along with all of his newly transplanted heart and soul after he had deciphered the whole thing.

_Dear Gilbert, _

_If you're reading this, that means the surgery was successful, and for that, words can never begin to explain how excruciatingly grateful I am. I was so worried… And when I was informed that this had turned into something way more serious than expected, my whole life turned upside down and it was so hard to believe this was happening. I want you to know that this was all my own decision, and what I wished for more than anything in the universe. Of course I'd rather us to be together forever and live our life how we had envisioned it the other day when you proposed to me, otherwise known as the greatest day of my life, but sadly that wasn't an option at the time. I love you. Please don't hate my decision, and try your best to keep moving forward, for even though I may not be there for you to hold, squeeze, kiss, and touch, one thing's for sure. I'll always be with you, only, I guess you would say…_

_Forever in your heart. _

_ Stay awesome for me, _

_ Matthew 3 _


End file.
